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Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
War
House
Give
Back
Giving
Billion
Children
Billions
Iraq
Television

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.
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Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
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The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
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How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
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There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.
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Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
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Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?
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