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As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Every
Administration
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Forward
Mammal
Citizens
Mammals
Looking
Fiber
Ends
Citizen
Persons
Comedian
Person
Bush
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
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New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
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If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.
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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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