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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Home
Wearing
Advertising
Catty
Case
Outfits
Cases
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Wonder
Wondering
Break
Breaks
Making
Commercial
Around
Mostly
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
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Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
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In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
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