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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Wonder
Wondering
Break
Breaks
Making
Commercial
Around
Mostly
Home
Wearing
Advertising
Catty
Case
Outfits
Cases
Remarks

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
Jon Stewart
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Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
Jon Stewart
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
Jon Stewart
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
Jon Stewart
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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
Jon Stewart
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
Jon Stewart
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It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Jon Stewart
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Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
Jon Stewart
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If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.
Jon Stewart
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
Jon Stewart
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Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
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Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
Jon Stewart
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So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.
Jon Stewart
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Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart
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Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Jon Stewart
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The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
Jon Stewart
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Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.
Jon Stewart
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I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
Jon Stewart
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The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
Jon Stewart
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Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.
Jon Stewart