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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hair
Beavers
Went
Crawl
Everyone
Swimming
Kids
Pool
Body
Near
Anywhere
Dad
None
Beaver
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
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The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
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What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, sup?
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The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
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This show is our own personal beliefs.
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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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Our show is obviously at a disadvantage with any of the other news shows we're competing against. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility, we are ... well, oddly enough we're about even.
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Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.
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When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
Jon Stewart
