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In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Mary
Soccer
Playing
Called
Kids
Randolph
Wells
Macon
Well
William
Ran

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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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You cannot judge a book by its contents.
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
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That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
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Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
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Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
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A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
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I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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