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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Case
Crummy
Limits
Afterward
Cases
Shower
Take
Showers
Always
Comedian
Things
Hopefully
Jokes

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
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I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are. And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
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That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
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President Bush delivered his first State of the Union address, riding high on an 82-percent approval rating, and with Attorney General John Ashcroft dispatching agents to interview the other 18 percent.
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9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
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I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months. You should be coming home to your family.
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The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you know, a lot of those blog reporters and all of those things are bringing a lot of urgency and a lot of momentum to stories that wouldn't normally carry any momentum.
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