Quote

Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Rings
Naked
Guy
Footage
Comes
Bull
Running
Bulls
Around
Underwear
Remember
Pulled
Ring

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
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Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
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You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
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By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
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The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
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[The conversation with John McCain] is not about being a pacifist or- suggesting that you can never have a military solution to things. It's just that, it appears that this is not the smart way to fight this threat.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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