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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hopping
Keep
Around
Anything
Good
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
Jon Stewart
I'm also interviewing a guy who's just written a book about his experience living in Iraq, faced with the type of violence as he said, an unimaginable scale. And I think that the combination of that is very hard to shake.
Jon Stewart
I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.
Jon Stewart
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
Jon Stewart
I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
Jon Stewart
That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
Jon Stewart
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
Jon Stewart
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
Jon Stewart
I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
Jon Stewart
Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Jon Stewart
It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.
Jon Stewart
Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
Jon Stewart
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
Jon Stewart
No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.
Jon Stewart
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
Jon Stewart
Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
Jon Stewart
I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?
Jon Stewart
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.
Jon Stewart
