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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Around
Anything
Good
Like
Hopping
Keep
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
Jon Stewart
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.
Jon Stewart
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.
Jon Stewart
Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
Jon Stewart
The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
Jon Stewart
[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.
Jon Stewart
People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart
Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
Jon Stewart
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Jon Stewart
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.
Jon Stewart
I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
Jon Stewart
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
Jon Stewart
The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as opposed to the Republican plan which is 'failure without admission'.
Jon Stewart
Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.
Jon Stewart
I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
Jon Stewart
Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
Jon Stewart
The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
Jon Stewart
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
Jon Stewart
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
Jon Stewart
