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If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Really
Competent
Way
Originality
Things
Majority
Would
Toward
Goes
Asks
Moments
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More quotes by Jon Stewart

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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
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I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then having those moments where they sit around and go, Are we reporting the news correctly? I think we are. And then they go back to the and the cycle just sort of continues.
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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
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[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud, all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.
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President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.
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That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months. You should be coming home to your family.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
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Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
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