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If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Goes
Asks
Moments
Long
Really
Competent
Way
Originality
Things
Majority
Would
Toward
More quotes by Jon Stewart
If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
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In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.
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Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
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I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.
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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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If you smell something, say something.
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The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.
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