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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
News
Building
Nice
Eye
Every
Foxes
Visit

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.
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Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.
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Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
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It's like hunting cows
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
Jon Stewart
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The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.
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The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.
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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
Jon Stewart
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
Jon Stewart
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You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
Jon Stewart
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Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
Jon Stewart
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Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jon Stewart