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The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Ability
Kids
Best
Trying
Way
Would
Describe
Game
Games
More quotes by Jon Stewart
War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon Stewart
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.
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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
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Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'
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Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.
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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
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Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.
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Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
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