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The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Ultimate
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
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Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
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We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.
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As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
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I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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