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Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Nobody
State
America
States
Great
Rednecks
Redneck
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
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How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
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Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
Jon Stewart
The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's offensive to the religion of Islam. Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
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When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.
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I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.
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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
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Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
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Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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