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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Opening
Brings
Nothing
Like
Closure
Campaign
Campaigns

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government
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You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
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Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.
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Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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It's like hunting cows
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Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
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Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart