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Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Face
Faces
Hard
Sometimes
Life
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
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Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
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On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.
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Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It’s Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse that’s a little offensive to people. Especially considering Romney’s view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don’t know, food and medicine.
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The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
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My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
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You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.
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The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat out there. They felt like Iraq lessened our ability to fight that threat.
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
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It's like hunting cows
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Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
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I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's very specifically focused, and hopefully people can add to their entire puzzle that gives them a larger picture of what it is that they see.
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