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Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Life
Face
Faces
Hard
Sometimes
More quotes by Jon Stewart
[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
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My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
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You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror.
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Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
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Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
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Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.
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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.
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The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government
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How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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