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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Wonder
Doesn
Country
Implode

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People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.
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Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.
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The government that governs best, governs best!
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.
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To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.
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They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
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As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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