Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Cataclysm
Coined
Hits
Called
Didn
More quotes by Jon Stewart
So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.
Jon Stewart
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon Stewart
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
Jon Stewart
In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
Jon Stewart
If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
Jon Stewart
My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
Jon Stewart
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
Jon Stewart
Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.
Jon Stewart
I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
Jon Stewart
Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Jon Stewart
I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
Jon Stewart
The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
Jon Stewart
Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.
Jon Stewart
Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
Jon Stewart
I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.
Jon Stewart
Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
Jon Stewart
There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.
Jon Stewart
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
Jon Stewart
In what is perhaps the strangest turn in the President's efforts to rally support, he agreed that Iraq is just like Vietnam, but in a good way.
Jon Stewart
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
Jon Stewart
