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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Didn
Cataclysm
Coined
Hits
Called

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.
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Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?
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I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
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Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
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Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.
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It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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