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I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hazing
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
Jon Stewart
As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart
You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.
Jon Stewart
It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
Jon Stewart
It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
Jon Stewart
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
Jon Stewart
Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
Jon Stewart
Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
Jon Stewart
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
Jon Stewart
You cannot judge a book by its contents.
Jon Stewart
Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
Jon Stewart
High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
Jon Stewart
Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
Jon Stewart
It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
Jon Stewart
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
Jon Stewart
[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.
Jon Stewart
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon Stewart
