Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Someone
Crutch
Crutches
Shouldn
Legs
Break
More quotes by Jon Stewart
[The conversation with John McCain] is not about being a pacifist or- suggesting that you can never have a military solution to things. It's just that, it appears that this is not the smart way to fight this threat.
Jon Stewart
If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
Jon Stewart
Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
Jon Stewart
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
Jon Stewart
You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
Jon Stewart
My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
Jon Stewart
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
Jon Stewart
The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.
Jon Stewart
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon Stewart
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud, all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.
Jon Stewart
Pigmentation was a quick and convenient way of judging a person. One of us, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once proposed we instead judge people by the content of their character. He was shot.
Jon Stewart
Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
Jon Stewart
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
Jon Stewart
The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.
Jon Stewart
Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight.
Jon Stewart
As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
Jon Stewart
