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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Applauds
Satan
Sign
Audience
Really
Good
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
Jon Stewart
I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
Jon Stewart
Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
Jon Stewart
[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
Jon Stewart
Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.
Jon Stewart
Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jon Stewart
As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
Jon Stewart
Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
Jon Stewart
Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.
Jon Stewart
Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
Jon Stewart
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
Jon Stewart
Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?
Jon Stewart
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
Jon Stewart
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It’s Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse that’s a little offensive to people. Especially considering Romney’s view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don’t know, food and medicine.
Jon Stewart
[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.
Jon Stewart
The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
Jon Stewart
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
Jon Stewart
[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
Jon Stewart
Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
Jon Stewart
