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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Applauds
Satan
Sign
Audience
Really
Good
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string.
Jon Stewart
Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.
Jon Stewart
The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
Jon Stewart
Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
Jon Stewart
Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
Jon Stewart
That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
Jon Stewart
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
Jon Stewart
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
Jon Stewart
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
Jon Stewart
The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.
Jon Stewart
The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
Jon Stewart
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
Jon Stewart
Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
Jon Stewart
[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
Jon Stewart
It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
Jon Stewart
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
Jon Stewart
9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.
Jon Stewart
Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.
Jon Stewart
Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
Jon Stewart