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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Countries
Four
Hate
Three
Country
Ireland
Way
Religions
Iran
Israel

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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
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New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
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But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist many other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign governments still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.
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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
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Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight.
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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
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