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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Think
Agendas
Thinking
Irony
World
Bush
Foreign
Administration
Spread
Policy
Really
Agenda

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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.
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Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?
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So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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I'm also interviewing a guy who's just written a book about his experience living in Iraq, faced with the type of violence as he said, an unimaginable scale. And I think that the combination of that is very hard to shake.
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Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
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Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.
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Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
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You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.
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If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.
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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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I want a sandwich named after me.
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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
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The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as opposed to the Republican plan which is 'failure without admission'.
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Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.
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