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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Looks
Dragons
People
Glass
Glasses
Full
Call
Half
Others
Look
Dragon
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat out there. They felt like Iraq lessened our ability to fight that threat.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
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It's like hunting cows
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In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.
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But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on `Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.
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Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
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I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.
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As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
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The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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