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So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Live
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Cruel
Joke
Sounds
Jokes
Negative
Longer

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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it.
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I have the liberal dictionary right here...let's see how they define water-boarding: 'Something done by the evil troops, who we don't support, to innocent terrorists violating their rights to bomb our cities and make us get gay marriage.'
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
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If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
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You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
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The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
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[The conversation with John McCain] is not about being a pacifist or- suggesting that you can never have a military solution to things. It's just that, it appears that this is not the smart way to fight this threat.
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Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
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