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If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a slightly different approach: they have a big tent - you're just not allowed in it.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Minority
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More quotes by Jon Stewart

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You cannot judge a book by its contents.
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty.
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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
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