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Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Popularity
Bush
South
President
America
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
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Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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You cannot judge a book by its contents.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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