Quote

Here it is. My moment of zen.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Moment
Moments

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
Jon Stewart
Image
Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
Jon Stewart
Image
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
Jon Stewart
Image
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
Jon Stewart
Image
You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
Image
I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
Jon Stewart
Image
The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
Jon Stewart
Image
I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
Jon Stewart
Image
Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him.
Jon Stewart
Image
If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
Jon Stewart
Image
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
Jon Stewart
Image
That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you want that? Go to Canada my friend. Believe me, rocks and snow are overrated. I've seen otters - they look better covered in oil.
Jon Stewart
Image
When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
Jon Stewart
Image
What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
Jon Stewart
Image
You cannot judge a book by its contents.
Jon Stewart
Image
[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud, all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.
Jon Stewart
Image
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
Jon Stewart
Image
My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
Jon Stewart
Image
I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called fear of success.
Jon Stewart
Image
It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
Jon Stewart