Quote

Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
States
Depression
Turds
Live
Hopefully
Lung
Think
Mines
Miners
Thinking
Watching
Helmet
Mine
Channels
Constant
Lungs
Disease
Depressing
State
Incredibly
Turd

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
Jon Stewart
Image
Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.
Jon Stewart
Image
I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.
Jon Stewart
Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It’s Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse that’s a little offensive to people. Especially considering Romney’s view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don’t know, food and medicine.
Jon Stewart
Image
I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
Jon Stewart
Image
[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.
Jon Stewart
Image
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Jon Stewart
Image
Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.
Jon Stewart
Image
You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.
Jon Stewart
Image
Michael Brown, the director of FEMA, was nominated by President Bush in 2003 and plans to start the job any day now. ... Prior to heading FEMA, Brown spent the 90's as a commissioner -- this is true -- of the International Arabian Horse Association. I guess he stands out because most Bush appointees are beholden to Arabian people.
Jon Stewart
Image
Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
Jon Stewart
Image
[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
Jon Stewart
Image
The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
Jon Stewart
Image
To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon Stewart
Image
The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
Jon Stewart
Image
Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
Jon Stewart
Image
When Henry Hill [in Goodfellas] got arrested for the first time and Robert DeNiro met him at the courthouse and Henry Hill was really upset, 'cause he thought Robert DeNiro would be really mad at him. And DeNiro comes up to him and he gives him a $100 and he goes, You got pinched. We all get pinched, but you did it right, you didn't say nothing.
Jon Stewart
Image
The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.
Jon Stewart
Image
If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
Jon Stewart
Image
Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is - and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear leaving behind a shiny gold coin.
Jon Stewart