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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Comedian
Usually
Cutting
Plans
Room
Comedians
Wind
Mice
Rooms
Laid
Best
Floor

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
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I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.
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You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror.
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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
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I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
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Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
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Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior?
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
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I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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This show is our own personal beliefs.
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If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
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Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
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Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
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The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
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If you smell something, say something.
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But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on `Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.
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