Quote

The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.

Jon Stewart

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Cutting
Plans
Room
Comedians
Wind
Mice
Rooms
Laid
Best
Floor
Comedian
Usually

More quotes by Jon Stewart

Image
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
Jon Stewart
Image
Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jon Stewart
Image
We feel no obligation to follow the news cycle. In other words, I felt no obligation to cover story in anyway, because we're not like I said, we're not journalists. And at that point, there's nothing sort of funny or absurd or to say about it.
Jon Stewart
Image
You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
Jon Stewart
Image
You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, Hey, there's something wrong with this mirror.
Jon Stewart
Image
Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
Jon Stewart
Image
If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
Jon Stewart
Image
The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
Jon Stewart
Image
That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
Jon Stewart
Image
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.
Jon Stewart
Image
My buddy Tim Bass he's a-workin' pumpin gas, and he makes two fifty for an hour. He's got rhythm in his hands as he's tappin' on the cans, sings rock and roll in the shower.
Jon Stewart
Image
I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then you visit him eight years later and he's wearing polyester pants, he's four foot eight, you think he's gay, and you're like, 'Are you the guy I was afraid of?
Jon Stewart
Image
So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.
Jon Stewart
Image
I feel much more strongly about the abdication of responsibility by the media than by political advocates. They're representing a constituency.
Jon Stewart
Image
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
Jon Stewart
Image
I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
Jon Stewart
Image
Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.
Jon Stewart
Image
The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
Jon Stewart
Image
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
Jon Stewart
Image
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
Jon Stewart