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Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Smart
People
Everybody
Came
Dies
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Senate
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Washington
Seems
Obama
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Inspire
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
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Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
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The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I'm advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians.
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Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is - and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear leaving behind a shiny gold coin.
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Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
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If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
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