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Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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Everybody
Came
Dies
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Senate
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Washington
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Inspire

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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
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If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
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Nineteen people flew into the towers. It seems hard for me to imagine that we could go to war enough to make the world safe enough that nineteen people wouldn't want to do harm to us. So it seems like we have to rethink a strategy that is less military-based.
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Maybe we should always show pictures. Bin Laden, pictures of our wounded service people, pictures of maimed innocent civilians. We can only make decisions about war if we see what war actually is - and not as a video game where bodies quickly disappear leaving behind a shiny gold coin.
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Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
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If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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It's not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.
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