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The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. That's all it is. All those media companies say, We're going to make a killing here. You won't because it's still only as good as the content.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
World
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Killing
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Internet
More quotes by Jon Stewart
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
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I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
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The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm at home, I'm locked in and I'm ready to go and I'm focused on home. We don't watch the show. We don't watch the news. We don't do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. And sometimes the kids will come home and play with me.
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
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Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
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I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
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High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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