Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Foxes
Cartoon
Network
Nuts
Watching
Like
More quotes by Jon Stewart
I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.
Jon Stewart
I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
Jon Stewart
I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
Jon Stewart
The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.
Jon Stewart
The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
Jon Stewart
Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
Jon Stewart
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
Jon Stewart
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
Jon Stewart
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
Jon Stewart
Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
Jon Stewart
Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.
Jon Stewart
I remember having a grade-school teacher I thought was a hard-ass. When you're that age, you think the guy is Himmler. Then you visit him eight years later and he's wearing polyester pants, he's four foot eight, you think he's gay, and you're like, 'Are you the guy I was afraid of?
Jon Stewart
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
Jon Stewart
I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.
Jon Stewart
Here it is. My moment of zen.
Jon Stewart
But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on `Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.
Jon Stewart
At the end of your life, do you give a concession speech?
Jon Stewart
The country of Mexico has just gotten its first Taco Bell. You're Welcome. Finally, Mexicans will have access to... Mexican food. Bon appetit. I can't imagine how confused they will be when they get a taco.
Jon Stewart