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Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hope
North
Advisers
President
Bush
Adviser
Worried
Cabinet
Doesn
Provide
Cabinets
Work
Election
Shake
Long
Needed
Korea
Lagging
Economy
Chances
Jolt
Chance
Shakes
Hamper
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
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It's like hunting cows
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I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.
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Here it is. My moment of zen.
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Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government
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On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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If everything is amplified, we hear nothing.
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Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior?
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They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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The government that governs best, governs best!
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What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness.
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What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, sup?
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Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion... perhaps around their necks? And maybe -- dare I dream it? -- maybe one day there can be an openly Christian President. Or, perhaps, 43 of them. Consecutively.
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