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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Rewards
Nickel
Money
Nickels
Enough
Mentioned
Every
Laden
Time
Reward
Bush
Raise
Raises
More quotes by Jon Stewart
By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
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[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.
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I have a lot of hostility.
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Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
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Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
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What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
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I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
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It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
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Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.
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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
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Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?
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Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.
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I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.
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That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.
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Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
Jon Stewart
