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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Entire
Anchors
Hired
Wow
Network
Secretary
Presses
Press
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
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If I could be really competent, that goes such a long way toward things, because the majority of things are not competent. If I can be competent, and have moments of originality, that's all I would ask for.
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
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The blow back from the cold war is that a weakened Russia allowed Afghanistan to become a failed state, and then all this weaponry to flow into all these other conflicts. Our greatest triumph has almost fueled our most intractable battle now.
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They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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When the court that handpicked you to be president tells you you've overstepped your bounds, you've overstepped your bounds.
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When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
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Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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In 1982 I was playing soccer at William and Mary, and a kid from Randolph-Macon called me a kike. I ran after him. 'I'm not a... well, yes I am.
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
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The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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I feel like [God]'s hazing us.
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
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Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.
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Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
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Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
Jon Stewart
