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Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Hot
Sundaes
Adults
Fudge
Child
Delicious
Night
Remind
Children
Jewish
Every
Adult
Like
Birthday
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If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
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As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.
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Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.
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I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.
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My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.
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The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.
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The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.
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It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
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