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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Insist
Corporations
Certainly
Americans
May
People
More quotes by Jon Stewart
People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.
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When did fact checking and journalism go their separate ways?
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Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK.
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life. You will always be wanting the next song.
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Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.
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Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
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McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.
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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
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If you smell something, say something.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.
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Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.
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New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.
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