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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
May
People
Insist
Corporations
Certainly
Americans
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The Vietnam war was fought over portion size.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
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Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.
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I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
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Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
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Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
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A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
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If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.
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The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
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The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
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Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy.
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart
