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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
People
Insist
Corporations
Certainly
Americans
May

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Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.
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Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.
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I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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The government that governs best, governs best!
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
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Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
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We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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