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I want a sandwich named after me.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Sandwich
Sandwiches
Named
Fame

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
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Nazi Germany was so destructive to Judaism not only for the loss of life, but because many who survived began to see the practice of Judaism as somewhat of a health hazard.
Jon Stewart
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
Jon Stewart
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Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight.
Jon Stewart
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Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
Jon Stewart
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A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
Jon Stewart
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The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
Jon Stewart
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It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.
Jon Stewart
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[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud, all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.
Jon Stewart
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Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
Jon Stewart
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We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
Jon Stewart
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What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
Jon Stewart
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
Jon Stewart
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart
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Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
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[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.
Jon Stewart
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Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
Jon Stewart
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
Jon Stewart
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
Jon Stewart