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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Something
Life
Graduation
Complete
College
Experience
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Poor Al Gore, global warming completely debunked, via the very Internet you invented.
Jon Stewart
Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.
Jon Stewart
Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.
Jon Stewart
Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.
Jon Stewart
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
Jon Stewart
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm at home, I'm locked in and I'm ready to go and I'm focused on home. We don't watch the show. We don't watch the news. We don't do any of that stuff. I sit down, I play Barbies. And sometimes the kids will come home and play with me.
Jon Stewart
No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.
Jon Stewart
Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
Jon Stewart
Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.
Jon Stewart
The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
Jon Stewart
I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
Jon Stewart
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
Jon Stewart
People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
Jon Stewart
The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
Jon Stewart
Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.
Jon Stewart
I want a sandwich named after me.
Jon Stewart
Like everyone else, I want to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio.
Jon Stewart
Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding... that's extraordinary. And that's why we have already won... they can't... it's light. It's democracy. They can't shut that down.
Jon Stewart
I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.
Jon Stewart
