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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Boxes
Towards
Moved
News
Moving
Comedian

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior?
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
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I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.
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Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.
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As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
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61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.
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The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government.
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Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.
Jon Stewart
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Oh my god... Kerry is boring even when Bush is reading him.
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When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because at first you think, I won't have any shelter! What am I gonna do? The sun is hot. Very thirsty.
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The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.
Jon Stewart
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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.
Jon Stewart