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I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
News
Moving
Comedian
Boxes
Towards
Moved
More quotes by Jon Stewart
Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.
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Technology. It's like science, only useless.
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Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.
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I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.
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The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor.
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I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.
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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
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Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string.
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The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.
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When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.
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The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is ... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.
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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
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Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles were also due.
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Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.
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