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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Obama
Usually
Says
Clear
Unclear

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If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.
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[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
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This show is our own personal beliefs.
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So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke.
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It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.
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We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
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We feel no obligation to follow the news cycle. In other words, I felt no obligation to cover story in anyway, because we're not like I said, we're not journalists. And at that point, there's nothing sort of funny or absurd or to say about it.
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I've always run by the hierarchy of If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something.
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Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.
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If you smell something, say something.
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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Body hair. You know when you're swimming as a kid and you want to crawl on your dad? None of us went anywhere near him. 'My god, a beaver! Everyone out of the pool!
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You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
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We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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