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Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh*t.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Obama
Usually
Says
Clear
Unclear

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No.
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California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.
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Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.
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People, if you can't get through the puns, I can't give you the good stuff.
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Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons.
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I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have.
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If you smell something, say something.
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I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
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Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.
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As a comedian, as a person, as a citizen, as a mammal - in all of those areas, I am looking forward to the end of the Bush administration with every fiber of my being.
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Songwriting is the way of perpetual want. Songwriters are the blessed/cursed people. You will never have a moment's peace in your life. You will always be wanting the next song.
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Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
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[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
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Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd miners. I put on my helmet, I go and mine turds, hopefully I don't get turd lung disease.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.
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Senior year is supposed to be about being mentally done.
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