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So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Obama
Guess
News
Voice
Makes
America
Stalin
Foxes
More quotes by Jon Stewart
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College is something you complete. Life is something you experience.
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That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.
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[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.
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We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
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I feel your scorn, and I accept it.
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I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
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The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
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If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?
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Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
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Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.
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It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
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The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
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All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months. You should be coming home to your family.
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The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.
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Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior?
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I'll tell you this: Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. And the protections that we have, for religion -we protect religion- and talk about a lifestyle choice! That is absolutely a choice. Gay people don't choose to be gay. At what age did you choose not to be gay?
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